There are many who are in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage who pose the question: Who will it hurt if two gays or lesbians get married? The answer is all of society. Following are some excerpts from William Duncan’s “Compassionately Standing Up for Traditional Marriage . . . And Why We Should Be Concerned about Same-Sex Marriage,” which help to answer this question.
“While the question of same-sex marriage is a moral issue, the potential damage to the fabric of society from marriage redefinition is profound. The redefinition of marriage is also a redefinition of the family, the fundamental unit of society.”
Duncan explains further:
When we legally redefine marriage we are endorsing an entirely different set of messages from those currently sent by our marriage laws. These new messages include the following: marriage is just another lifestyle choice, one lifestyle is essentially the same as any other, and children really don’t need a mother and father because any adult or set of adults will do. These messages affect not only those who choose a new kind of marriage but all of society because everyone in the society will be told by their government that the old view of marriage was really nothing more than bigotry and prejudice. This logic is likely to heighten ‘legal collisions with the rights of free speech and of action based on religious beliefs.’
Duncan and others point out that all familial research supports the traditional family as the best environment in which to raise children. This is the true purpose of marriage: to build family relationships and provide a good environment in which to raise children for the propagation of society.
Quoting a prominent sociologist, David Popenoe, “The burden of social science evidence supports the idea that gender differentiated parenting is important for human development and that the contribution of fathers to childrearing is unique and irreplaceable.”
Popenoe also explained:
The complementarity of male and female parenting styles is striking and of enormous importance to a child’s overall development. It is sometimes said that fathers express more concern for the child’s longer-term development, while mothers focus on the child’s immediate well-being (which, of course, in its own way has everything to do with a child’s long-term well-being). What is clear is that children have dual needs that must be met: one for independence and the other for relatedness, one for challenge and the other for support.
It has been said that, though two men comprising a homosexual couple could each be good fathers, neither can be a mother. The reverse is also true: no woman can replace a father.
“We believe that defending this sacred institution by working to preserve traditional marriage lies clearly within our religious and constitutional prerogatives. Indeed, we are compelled by our doctrine to speak out.”
Opposing same-sex marriage is not about bigotry. It is about upholding the framework of our society and providing the best environment in which to raise our children to further our society. Marriage is a divine institution defined by God for the very purposes listed here. If we attempt to change what God has decreed, of course it will bring suffering, if only through the dissolution of society’s framework.
Quotations taken from “Compassionately Standing Up for Traditional Marriage . . . And Why We Should Be Concerned about Same-Sex Marriage,” William C. Duncan, JD, Understanding Same-Sex Attraction, Chapter 20). Quotations used with permission from the author.